Brains of Britain

Tough questions make the mind boggle
It's hard to believe people like this exist. Some of them are
determined not to be helped. They must have been born & raised in a
deep mineshaft and only brought out for these shows!

THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.


Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.


Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!


Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.


Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were
written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?


Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with
G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state
funeral?
Contestant: Geronimo!


NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.


CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?


FAMILY FORTUNES
1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword


2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon


3) Name the capital of France? - F


4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell


5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar


6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital


7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil


8) A famous Scotsman? - Jock


9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.


10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs


11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water


12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse


13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair


14) A famous Royal? - Mail


15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with
wings


16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters


17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet


18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate


19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on


20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police


21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April


22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing


23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep


24) Something you put on walls? - A roof


25) Something slippery? - A conman


26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish


27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam


28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato


29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas


30) Something red? - My sweater


RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter : Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the
world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in
Spain.


STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.


Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.


Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.


THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera.
True or false?
Contestant: True?
Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an
American TV show, so I'll give you that.


BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel
last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.


BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four


BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?


DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.