Expensive Frog

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.
While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.
"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!"
"Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

 

lol

 

that is outstanding

 

bartenders are so dumb. They fall for all of the tricks!!!


(j/k, I know it was only a joke and not a true story 8))

 

LMAO Good one.


Luna

 

I got one for ya.

A woman brought a very limp duck in to a veterinary surgeon.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,
“I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,” replied the vet.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you
haven’t done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his yes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the
dog stood on his hind legs,
put his front paws on the examination table and
sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes
and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on
the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot.
The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but
as I said,
this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal,
hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$3200!” she cried,

“$3200 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged.
“I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $200,
but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, ........”




[SCROLL]Luna;D[/SCROLL]

 

These two magical words are starting to become my motto on this forum...if only I had the money I could put them directly under my name here...oh well...

*head/desk*

Haha the frog one was good. Luna's was just...ohmahgawwd. hahaha interpret that how you will.

 

passing the above joke to my sister who is a DVM

 

hahah lol

 

O.k. Staying with the bartender theme.
Bartender is cleaning the bar and looks and sees a snail sitting there. Snail says; "I'll have a drink". Bartender says; "I don't serve snails and if you're still here when I come back there's going to be trouble". About five minutes later the bartender comes back and there's the snail, still sitting there. "O.k."; says the bartender, "I warned you". He picks up the snail, walks to the front door and throws the snail as far as he can.
A week later the bartender is cleaning the bar and looks and sees the snail. The snail says; "why did you do that?"