Wife Sayings

Recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry... That must be
why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette


When a man steals your wife,... there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;... they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.... If you get a
bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things,... and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does
a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife,.. and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage... We take time to go to a
restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and
dancing.... She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism..... I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"Bigamy is having one wife too many..... Monogamy is the same thing."
Oscar Wilde

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking.... It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavrac

"I've had bad luck with both my wives.... The first one left me, and the
second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,....
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is... to forget it
once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married?.... Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years....... Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous


A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted"..... Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:.. "You can have
mine."
Anonymous


First Guy (proudly):... "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky,... mine's still alive."