Amazing home remedies

Discussion in 'The Bucket' started by Phil5613, Jun 16, 2005.

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  1. Phil5613

    Phil5613 Purple Spiny Lobster

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2003
    Messages:
    492
    Location:
    Wheaton, Illinois
    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
    boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost
    instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
    someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
    using the sink.

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
    few minutes, thus reducing t! he pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
    timer.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
    rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
    be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will
    forget about the toothache.

    Sometimes, we just need to remember what ! the rules of life really are:

    You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
    If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
    If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

    Remember:

    Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

    If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

    And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know
    when you might need them to empty your bedpan!

    Have a great day!!
     
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  3. Blade_Runner

    Blade_Runner Gigas Clam

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
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    Location:
    Carpentersville, IL
    ;D
    THX, I needed that.
     
  4. kb.bear

    kb.bear Peppermint Shrimp

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    Riverside, RI
  5. Bruce

    Bruce Giant Squid

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    Nov 13, 2004
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    Location:
    Los Angeles, California