Friday ! finally, lets celebrate with some jokes !

It’s been a tough week for me at work, thank goodness the weekend is here ! Hopefully for some of you it’s a three day one at that !

Lets tell some jokes and make some smiles – I’ll start us off with one I quasi read before.


Steve Wright was in his back yard filling in a hole when his neighbors RedGambit and inwall75 peered over the fence. Being ever so interested in what Mr Wright was doing, Inwall75 politely asked, "Whatcha doing, Steve?"

"My clownfish died," replied Steve tearfully, without even looking up. "And I've just buried him here next to this big oak." RedGambit, concerned, asks, "Did he get sucked into a powerhead like ours??". Steve shakes his head and quietly replies, "No....".

Inwall75 was concerned. "That's a mighty big hole for a little clownfish, isn't it Mr. Wright?"

Steve patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."

.....Take it easy now - I am a cat lover, have three of them - its just a joke !!

 

Thats very funny Crimson Ghost, thank you

my turn

Newbie posts on the ASAP forum that his skimmer is not producing any foam

Blackraven1425 , 1st responder "You may have cr*p in your pump"

Newbie follow up question "How often do I have to do that then?"


Steve

 

No lovin for me


While at a marriage seminar to learn how the Mrs. and I can put some spark back into our lives,the guest speaker was talking about how important it is to stay in tune with your spouse.
He said,"we'll start with the men in the room,i'd like for you to tell your wives what thier favorite flower is and describe it to them"
Thinking for a minute,I leaned over and whispered in my wifes ear "it's Gold Medal all purpose,right?

 

;D funny

A man walks into a bar the bar tender after looking at the man pulls out a loaded shotgun and shoots misssing his head by inches and hitting the wall. The man looks at the bartender says thankyou and leaves a $100.00 tip on the bar. One of the other bar patrons looks at the bar tender and says "What the Hell" bartender says "He had the hickups". ;D

 

Grinder37 was grinning ear to ear, proud as a peacock and tells Annick “I got 5 of them flies that you were complaining (as usual) about. Yup, 3 female and 2 males” Annick, looking rather puzzled asks “but how do you know the sex of the flies?” Grinder37, still smiling ear to ear simply says “because 2 were on that can of beer over there and the other 3 were on the phone”

 

man walks into a bar

Ouch!

it was a metal bar

 

:laughings

 

What do you call a fish with no eye?

FSH!!!!

What happened to the fishing boat that sank in piranha fish infested waters ?

It came back with a skeleton crew.


How do you stop a fish from smelling ?

Cut it's nose off

 

I found some pretty funny fish jokes on the Internet. Thought I'd share them with you. Have a good laugh!

If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.

How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off.

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.

Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.

Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank.

What fish are musical?
Tuna fish.

What fish is most valuable?
A goldfish.

Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.

What's the easiest way to catch fish?
Have someone throw it at you.

What kind of money do fishermen make?
Net profits!

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Michigan recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious now.
The man poured the fish in to the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said: "Well?"
"Well, What?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" the man asked.

 

are my jokes that bad that they killed the thread