Friday ! finally, lets celebrate with some jokes !

this one fits me pretty well..

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on
Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad

 

Top 10 signs that you're too old for Trick or Treat

10-You get winded just from knocking on the door

9-You need another kid to chew your candy for you

8-You ask for high fiber candy only

7-When somebody drops a candy bar in your bag,it causes you to lose balance and fall over

6-People tell you about your cool Keith Richards mask,but your not wearing one

5-When the door opens,you say trick or........ i forget the rest

4-By the end of the night,you have a bag full of restraint orders

3-You have to choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpeice

2-You're the only power ranger in the neighborhood with a walker

1-You avoid all houses that ex wives live

 

0 to 200 in 6 secondsBob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday

 

that used to be my signature.... LOL

a latino man named Jose attends his first american baseball game. now as in all sports, they say the national anthem, everyone stands up, singer starts singing... "ohhh say can you see..." all of the sudden Jose starts jumping up and down excited, the man next to him asks why hes so hyped. Jose said, Dude, they said my name in the national anthem! ;D

 

A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Michigan recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the warden replied.
"Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."
"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious now.
The man poured the fish in to the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said: "Well?"
"Well, What?" the man responded.
"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.
"Call who back?" the man asked.
"The FISH."
"What fish?" the man asked.

ive actually had a friend try this, didnt work lol but that was a good night