Help winning the Bigger tank argument :)

welllll I think your going to have to be a little more mature about this if you really want to communicate about it. It's easy for eveyone with families and normal interactive lives to say how important their tanks are, but I don't think anyone here is trading one of their relationships in their family's (even the rough ones) for their fish tank. You can always build a new tank some day, but you can't change the past in a relationship. You need to be honest, YOU DON'T NEED THE TANK, but you want it very badly. I also want to point out that when it really comes down to it, big tanks are amazing and give you lots of ability, but nano tanks can be just as cool.
I think you can sit down and explain this, but you might need to explain it to yourself a little more first.

 

I did not say trade a relationship for a tank...but that is just a symbol of what could be a problem down the road due to the other persons belief system. Its kinds like a golfer meets a girl she knows he enjoys it then later complains about the sundays he spend on the course and the money on his new driver....she knew he was into that before she met him and by staying in that relationship she tacitly agrees to accept that.it's very immature to think that your partner should circumscribe their hobbies for you just because you don't like/understand it....life is to be lived, experienced and such. If he had a kid and wanted to take up/continue in a dangerous activity then I could see ones partner objecting. But this is not the case and if he has the space and funds and it doesn't financially strap him then he should get the tank he wants.

 

There is a huge difference financially between some golf and having a 300g tank, I mean we're talking more like putting in a driving range in the back yard. I'm just saying we all get addicted, but we need to keep it in perspective, and a 300g is not just having a tank it's a lot closer to having something like a kid than a fish tank. Are you going to be taking care of this thing all by your self? I just don't see how anyone is going to take care of a 300g with out it effecting all parts of their life to some extent. I'm not saying don't do it if you can, but I'm saying you should be able to have some pretty in-depth conversations and it's not a black and white I need this or don't sorta thing, like we addicts treat it as.

 

Yes a fish tank is more like a kid/pet in that you do need more planning if you're going away for more than a few days and that they take time as anything does.
have you seen the prices on some clubs....or greens fees? But again that was a mere example the hoby could be building/flying small aircraft/ultralights or something equally time & money consuming as a tank...w/o of course the need for a caretaker if your gonna be gone for an extended length of time.

 

Hey, hey, hey...
I'm sure this person is a mature adult that knows the cost of this hobby. He may or may not actually be getting the tank right now. He's simply covering his basis by asking the girlfriend, which to me is a good idea. He is only getting ideas on how to convince her. If he posts a new thread that says "she said no, what should I do?" then you guys could haggle it out about the saltwater addiction and whether or not he should dump the girlfriend who doesn't like saltwater, lol. (Who doesn't like saltwater???);D

Correct me if I'm wrong leighton.

 

Thanks for all the advice I will have a small room and the time to take care of it. Maybe she wil get more interested in my hobby with a larger tank so she can pick out many more fish and coral or atleast I can convince her of it cause every time we go to the LFS she is like that is a pretty fish but im always like "our" tank is to small

 

Edit...

Oh and the green fees around here are rediculus. I live in TX and you have to pay $50 to play in "dirt with a little bit of grass" lol.

 

If you have the money and the space:

I would say unless she is paying your rent, I would just go for the tank if you really want it.

I would say this isn't choosing a tank over the GF, its making sure you and your GF are compatible.
Your GF(if you want more out of the relationship then a fling) should be compatible with your hobbies or atleast tolerant of them. You wouldn't expect her to stop doing her hobbies.

The fact is people don't change, you will always like your tanks and she will always feel however she feels about them..

 

It's all about compromise. If you're with your girl for the long hall, I would highly recommend you make sure she's cool with your decision prior to setting up the tank even if you have the space and cash or it's almost guaranteed to cause problems. Yes, she knows you're into reefin, but if she's not into it, she will not sign-up to help you 'grow' the addiction if you just go out and buy the tank. I think others have already provided enough info to help you explain the benefits and as long as you take the time to make her feel comfortable with it, you might be OK. A friend of mine was in your situation, today he's divorce with a very nice 600g reef system that he's tired of looking at.

I down sized my tank when I got married, because I knew how much it cost (time and $$) and I didn't think it was fair to my wife. Even though she's not into the hobby, she's the first to show-off our tank when friends and family come over and it's fun listening to her talk to them about it...that's what you want, if your girl hates it, it would always be a source of problems and eventually you will hate it. good luck.

 

alot of these comments are one sided and i would like to differ, your girlfriend isnt an object that you can trash out if it interferes with what you want to do. you chose her to be your gf and taking her in she was willing to put up with whatever tank you have currently. dont make her have to compete against an even bigger tank tank. a reef tank would make you happy and satisfied but she will also. i know she means alot to you considering this topic being posted. your making her feel cast out cuz a bigger tank is gonna take more time and attention off of her(its like your cheating on her lol). reefing is still a hobby and isnt in the same category as women and potential family. my family and significant others go first in my world. you cant replace family as easily as you can a tank.