humour - clean joke

stop reading if you have heard this one before

A rabbit walks into a job centre and approaches the person at the counter

Rabbit speaks "Excuse me Sir, Im looking for employment"

Job centre employee is shocked and responds "My goodness a talking rabbit thats amazing" ( you can change the wording here to suite your audience)

Job centre employee goes on to say " fantastic, Im sure I can get you fixed up with that incredible talent"

Job centre employee, walks to the back room and phones the Circus

Job centre employee on phone "Hi, you wont believe this, but I have a talking rabbit in here looking for work"

Circus manager replies "a talking Rabbit, are you sure, if thats true we can use him right away"

Job centre employee goes back to the shop front and says to the rabbit
"Good news Mr Rabbit, I have found you a job with the Circus”

the rabbit replies " The Circus? what does the Circus want with an Electrician?"


Im here all week

Steve

 

hahaha.. love rabbit jokes.
Here's another one:
A rabbit goes to the forest convenience store only to find a huge line in front of the store.. He starts pushing and shoving all the animals in line, trying to get in front but just as he approaches the door a bigger animal grabs him by the ears and throws him back - get back in line, rabbit!!
He gets up and starts pushing throught again - only to get a few feet from the door as another animal grabs him by the fur on his back and throws him back - the line start over there, rabbit!!!
He makes a few more attempts, all of which end in someone bigger grabbing him and throwing him back.. he then decides he would go for it one last time and when they throw him all the way to the back of the line, he gets up, dusts himself up looks at the long line of animals and says: well, looks like I won't be opening today...

 

Ha!

I only know the "bear and a rabbit in the woods" joke and it's not quite appropriate here

 

Too funny

 

Yeah, that was the only clean one a had

 

another one

a hyena is finding itself the attention of a pair of bullying tigers
every day these 2 tigers jump on him and maul him for amusement and the Hyena is getting sick of it

Hyena goes off to find an ally
Hyena, meets a lion and ask Lion if he will back him up, the following day when the tigers
attach him

Lion agrees (Its a joke, dont worry about what the lions motivation is its not important)

so following day Hyena goes for his wander with the lion out of sight and down wind (yep)
of the tigers normal hang out

Tigers spot the Hyena and as per usual pounce on him, maul him and then wander off

Hyena comes round to see the Lion staring down at him and asks
"What happened to you, why didnt you back me up"

the lion replies "You where laughing so much, I thought you where enjoying it"

Steve

 

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says, "You know, we have a drink named after you."

The grasshopper replies, "Why would anyone name a drink Bob?"

 

Hehe

 

OK one more, not as clean, but no swear words

ex wife joke

whilst we where still married my ex wife made the following request

Ex " can I have 2000 bucks for bust enlargement?"
Steve - "2000 bucks, you dont need 200 bucks, you just need toilet tissue
Ex - Toilet Tissue, what are you talking about you idiot?
Steve - "just use the toilet paper , rub it up and down your cleavage each day"
Ex - your a fool , that will never work
Steve - "It worked on your backside"


ok?