Inanimate Gender

Ziploc bags are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right
through them.

Copiers are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them
up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons Are
pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

A tire is male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

A hot air balloon is male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to
light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges are female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

A web page is female, because it's always getting hit on.

A subway is male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

An hourglass is female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

A hammer is male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around.

A remote control is female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But
consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while
he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps! trying!