Incognito

A 40 year old woman has a coronary episode and clings to life on the operating room table. In her mind, she sees God, who takes her face into his hands and says, "My daughter, I will give you many more years of life. Do with them what you will." The flatlining ECG jumps back to life and the woman opens her eyes.
The doctor tells her, "Someone upstairs must like you, because we lost you on that bed for a minute."
The woman remembers her experience and decides she's going to do a little self improvement. She has her tummy tucked, and gets a bit of lipo on the thighs. She gets colored contact lenses and an early facelift. She becomes a redhead. She gets a small tatoo on her back and once again feels like a kid.
Walking down the street she notices in a store window across the way, a nice, slinky red dress. She immediately decides that this would be the perfect fit for her new life ensemble. She crosses the street to the store, and no sooner does she set a foot onto the asphalt, she's hit by a bus and dies instantly.
She floats to heaven where she's met by God himself. Angrily, she yells at him, "You son of a so and so, it wasn't 90 days ago when you told me that you were going to give me many more years of life!!!"
God, looking confused does a double-take, looks at her again and says, "That was YOU?"

 

;D very funny

 

Lmao

 

Worth a bump, I thought.

 

that's a good one