Man Laws

Man Laws

1.. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2.. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following
circumstances:

a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning
her blouse.

c) After wrecking your boss's car.

d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The
Crying Game".

e) When she is using her *****.

3.. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally
killed and eaten by his buddies.

4.. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend
out of jail within 12 hours.

5.. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is
off-limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6.. Whining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7.. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.

At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's
choice.

8.. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

9.. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may
ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's
playing.

10.. You may pass wind in front of a woman only if you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, then she's officially your girlfriend.

11.. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

12. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

13. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

14.. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as
spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to
drink as much as the other sports watchers.

15.. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must
remain sober enough to fight.

16.. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

17.. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking
about his choice of beer.

18.. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours,
except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

19.. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting
weights:

a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!

b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!

c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

20.. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:

i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

21.. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer
than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.
Hang up if necessary.

22.. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend"
have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the
discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

23.. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

24.. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

25.. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.



We hope this clears up any confusion.

 

Man Law !

 

Are you verifying their accuracy?

 

I see inconsistency in number 6.

If you can not whine about the brand of beer in a buddys fridge then this may be due to a couple of reasons. 1) it is his preference to have that type and you did not pay for it so shove it.. however, this also applies to it not being the right tempreature, it may be his preference and you do not pay for his fridge or electric bill. We will call this the i payed for it and like it so shove it argument. 2) This argument may be referd to as the, it is impossible to suggest that the type one prefers is subjective whild maintaining that the tempreature is not subjective. It may just be that beer must be a certain tempreature, where as one can not do a harm with the type of beer especially if its free, one may do a harm with the tempreature even if it is free, or in other words, one can pick what ever beer he wants but one can not choose whatever tempreature he wants.. However, it seems that ones preference for tempreature varies as much as ones tempreature for beer- ever been to Europe. But, if we are to abide by American rules for beer cooling, that is in America beer is always cold therefore beer ought to always be cold then I suppose that the Europeans are wrong. However, the Europeans may say the same thing about Americans. The only way to beat the stalemate one would have to appeal to some objective fact about beer, going beyond mere preference, which would seem impossible to do.

Therefore, if the type of beer can be relative, so too can the tempreature. Furthermore, by saying that beer has to be a certain tempreature one is only appealing to preference, in the same way that one only appeals to preference for the type of beer one prefers.
I just graduated with a BA in philosophy yesturday and it is starting to show. Yeah, I am bored right now!!