Name Puns

If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.

If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.


If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.


If Oprah Winfrey married Deepak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.


If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg (Hey, nowadays anything is possible) he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.


If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.


If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman
Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.


If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.


If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry
Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.


If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.


How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be
Boog Alou.


If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry
Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.


Nog (Quark's nephew on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard
Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.


If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale,
she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.


If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then
moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.


If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu the
elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.


If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of
Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she
would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.


If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck,
divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.


If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson,
divorced him to mary Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and
divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight
Long.


If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she'd be Whoopi Cushing.


If Swoozie Kurtz married Patrick Swayze, she'd be Swoosie Swayze.


If Flip Wilson married Les Aucoin, he'd be Flip Aucoin.


If Barbara Hershey married John Candy, then divorced him to marry Roseanne
Barr, she'd be Barbara Hershey Candy Barr.


If Julie Emry married Jeff Gillooly, divorced him to marry Darlene Hooley,
then divorced her to marry Wes Cooley, she'd be Julie Gillooly Hooley
Cooley.


If Ivana Trump married Neil Diamond, divorced him to marry Jack Nicklaus,
then divorced him to marry John Darling, she'd be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus
Darling.


If Julie London married Beau Bridges, divorced him and married composer
Manuel de Falla, then married Hugh Downs, she'd be Julie London Bridges
Falla Downs.


If Darryl Strawberry married Sally Field, and they never divorced, he'd be
Darryl Stawberry Field forever.


If Ali McGraw married Muhammad Ali, divorced him to marry folk singer Hoyt
Axton, divorced him to marry basketball player World B. Free, she'd be Ali
Ali Axton Free.


If Aretha Franklin married Buddy Holly, she'd be Aretha Holly.


If Ellen Barkin married Alan Arkin, they'd be Ellen and Alan Barkin-Arkin.


If Whoopi Goldberg married Sandra Dee, divorced her and married Scooby Doo, she'd be Whoopi Dee Doo.


If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod
understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy."