The Perfect Mate

When dating around and searching for the one person to share your life with, how perfect is that relationship? As time goes by and new things are introduced into your lives is it a battle to get things in the same perspective. Being this is a reef forum, what i would like to know is do you and your significant other both enjoy the hobby? is it a constant battle to add new things to your tank? or is there bliss?


Michelle and i have been together going on 8 years, we were 2 years into our relationship when we aquired our first tank. (i was watching a 75 gal. tank for a friend of mine and well it just never left). From the get go it was a hit with both of us. We have grown together and this hobby has as well. We both absolutely love this hobby. There is no battle to get new and cool items for our tank. In fact, we have to talk ourselves out of things at times.(lol) Speaking for myself of course, i could not imagine having a spouse that would battle me at every move when it comes to my passions in life.


So lets hear it people, good or bad.

 

I assume this is Rob using Ishymishys log in - you need your own account dude
add a lap top to the list of things you need, then you can both be logged in at same time

I have had 2 goes to get it right

1st time - it was a battle , my other half percieved my reef tank as an unsightly obstacle that took up to much of my time - the irony that I perceived her in the same manner is not lost on me LOL

2nd time - the only issue I have had is unexpected gifts that on 2 occasions I had to gently break her heart and take the Nem and then the Sea Apple back to exchange at the LFS
my wife is interested to the point, she will help me choose (from books and magazines now) life forms for my tank, will help with routine maintenance such as top offs, algae scraping, feeding, water changes if Im away and helps me interpret the results from my weekly testing

Steve

 

adding a laptop would seriosly infringe on new tank items steve! ;D

 

Ok, that just made me laugh as I can truly appreciate it from the female perspective!!

My hubby and I got into this hobby together. We both had FW and had always wanted SW. We just went to our LFS on Friday night and it was our "date night" (our LFS' thinks this is very funny). Not too many wives want a Tunze powerhead for their birthday and anniversary, which I did and got ;D so I can understand the pain some guys go through trying to add new things to the tank.

In regards to a "perfect relationship" - You can't have it........I have it and I am not giving it up

 

At the store, I've seen just about everything.

Wives who are big-time in the hobby and the husband doesn't care about it
Husbands who are-big time in the hobby and the wife doesn't care about it
Wives who have semi-supportive husbands. I.e. they'll go and be bored (but pretend not) to be and will let their wife buy things within reason
Husbands who have semi-supportive wives. I.e. they'll go and be bored (but pretend not to be) and will let their husbands buy things within reason
I have had wives who reluctantly allowed their husband to buy a reef tank and over time they cared more about the tank than their husband does.
I had couples who both really enjoyed the hobby together. Several of them came in weekly to look at new things while their kids played with Tyson or Cherokee (Boston Terrier and Chocolate Lab....store mascots).

On the other hand, I had quite a few men that only purchased things with cash and purposely had me throw the receipt away so their wife would never see it. I asked a guy one time what he says when she looks at the tank. He tells her "I've had that for ages dear....it was on the back side and I brought it up front" or "I traded some frags for that fish". I'm sure there are women who have the same unreasonableness in a spouse but none of my customers were like that.

I also had several business owners who paid for things with their business credit card so that the wife never saw the charges.

My first saltwater tank was purchased by my wife for Valentine's Day. She didn't seem to care about it nor any future tanks. She would go to IMACs and MACNAs with me but she didn't stay with me....she just went shopping. Even though she didn't seem into it, she knew it made me happy so she really never questioned my purchases. One day she really threw me for a loop. We were throwing a dinner party and people were "oohing and aghing" over various tanks and all of the sudden my wife started channeling Eric Borneman. She was pointing out feather dusters and how it's really a worm. Pointing out corals and explaining that they are really animals and not plants even though they do need lighting to survive as well as other types of foods. She explained how my mantis shrimp wasn't really a shrimp and if you put your hand into this tank, it could break your finger. She even explained why one can't take a picture of mantis with autofocus cameras usually....because they can see infrared light. I was in shock. She apparently was paying attention all those years.

 

My girl loves my tank but hates the time I spend with it. She's a pharmacist with a chemistry undergrad, so she has a damn good understanding of the biochemical processes at work. In less words she "gets it". It's my hobby and my tank, but it makes our living room look great, and she knows it, and she'll start rattling off specifics about fish and corals when company comes over.

But she's really girly, has a poddle names Snuggles, won't touch anything nasty and won't let me near her if I've been in the protein skimmer. When I've had fish die, I just tell her I "returned them" because she gets so upset if I tell her it died and it's my fault.

But supportive and she'd rather see me spend extra dough on my tank for something pretty, than at the bar like most of my buddies in Key West.

 

LOL

I had another store mascot that customers liked. It was an 8 inch Peacock Mantis named Snuggles. My first mantis was named Fluffy as a joke. As a result, any other mantis I ever cared for had a similarly ridiculous name. Customers would bring him stone crabs they caught in their tank.