What’s the first step in recovery?

The first thing you did here, was to ignore cj5_dude's advice and to go on to say why. He gave you more advice, which is to not let your expectations exceed your funds. It's not realistic to get a job with the intent on spending everything you make. That will not teach you good spending habits as an adult.

Sometimes, you have to take it on the chin, and realize that you are the one creating the problems. That doesn't make you different than any one else, though, lol. What's the motto, here? Take it slow. That applies to life, as well. You are supposed to be learning balance in everything you do. Keep an open mind.

 

That's funny that you said that. I was going to suggest to find someone who has a similar tank as yours, and emulate what they do. From what I've seen in the past, you have enough knowledge, you just have to put it all together to be successful.

 

And please get rid of the puffer and stop justifying why it's OK. You know your 20 isn't big enough and you know that even if you had a 90, which you don't, that even it won't be big enough. That's like bringing home a baby elephant and keeping it in your house and saying "Well I'll just buy a bigger house when it get's bigger". Either you have the place to put it now or you don't. If you don't then don't keep it. You're only doing a disservice to the fish and I don't think you have the intentions of letting the fish suffer.

 

Well, a little gentler way of putting it...even though your family loves the puffer, there are more that are just like it. It would be better to re-home it and get one when the time is right. It took my wife a while to understand that she just can't go out and buy me what she thinks looks nice. Now, she makes more informed decisions, and always asks first.

 

I found Coralline's post and copied (I hope this was ok Coralline, I didn't know how to post the link

"This is what I did.

1. Got dry base rock and cycled it in a separate container for 2 weeks.
2. Removed water into large plastic container, placed corals and fish in that container with a power head.
3. Once all the rock/water..... fish were removed I removed all the sand. I did not replace the sand that is up to you.
4. Scrubbed all tank walls with FW and rinsed, and repeated.
5. I did not touch the back chambers and left the sponge and charcoal in place to seed the tank again.
6. Once the tank was clean I added the dry base rock that had been cycling.
7. Filled the tank back up with all the water I removed and added the corals and fish.

Knock on wood but I have not lost a fish or coral since do this to my tank over 1 month ago."

 

I do not mind at all oldfishkeeper.

It's a work in progress and I contemplated many months how to proceed.

One thing I do know never make any or a lot of big changes in short periods of time.

Pre-cycling the rock is important as well as using as much clean water from the display as possible to avoid significant changes in water chemistry.

Keeping up the routine maintenance is the hardest part.

 

Welcome back our aquariums are a window into our souls so it seems you are at a new begining ,thank you for your honesty and i am glad that
You are able to admit your mistake.That is the first step in recovery I would follow Old Fishkeepers advice on this as she nurse maided me and helped me recover a tank as well.I would start with the obvious and start doing water changes for your fish,say goodbye to the puffer and then i would write down a plan of attack and short term goals you can attain. You are going to feel great once you see your fruits of the work you do.Also your fish will love you You fish deserve a safe and stable home as do you,it takes courage to admit a mistake but it takes a great man to amend it. Once again welcome back

 

.... admitting you have a problem.

 

you can save that rock. I neglected a 46g for years and brought it back. The first step would be finding a way to run GFO to remove as much phosphates as you can. i agree ditching the puffer is a great idea, and also not getting any more fish to continue the nutrient overload.

It will take a while with your rock because the higher no3 and po4 levels are locked inside like a sponge, and unless you are a Greek demigod you can't squeeze it back out. Even with undetectable nitrate and phosphates your rock may still have algae for months. Pick it off. I had a sawblade calurpa infestation and it took me over a year to eradicate it completely but i won, even when people told me to cut my losses and restart. I'm beating the worst case of cyanno i've ever seen right now, and even a hearty invasion of colonial hydriods.

There aren't many silver bullets to make this quick and painless, but it turns out most things in life can be accomplished through grit and sweat and dedication. Get a quality RODI (its an investment for your parents tank get it from spectrapure), stay on top of water changes (they are relatively cheap) and get you hands in their pinch tiny bits of hair algae for hours a week.

 

Oh I know this one!! My girlfriend saw a Yellow Longnose Butterflyfish and just HAD to have it. I said, that fish will not fit in our tank (60 gal) and she's like oh we'll just get rid of it when it get's too big. : To which I say, um please no!!! she tries to justify it anyway she can. Plus, reef caution I usually stay away from if I can.

Then the other day she saw another fish (I can't remember the name) but it was one that a finicky eater, not very much luck in captivity, but she wanted it....

again, I was the bad guy talking her out of it! hahahaha! I can't complain about her interest, but when she doesn't want to listen to facts or at least recommendations. #frustration

sorry, didn't mean to hijack, this just struck a nerve!

To add to the post OFK summing up Corailline's post is great advice! I would take it. I've learned the hard ways that shortcuts rarely work in this hobby.