Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. PHIL :
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT"
problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH :
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


ANDERSON COOPER/CNN :
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JUDGE JUDY:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN :
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
why they call it the "other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple
as that!

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet e explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The Platform
is much more stable and will never cra..#@&&^( C ....... reboot .

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

AL GORE :
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?